The Dick
by Fanfic86
Summary: Stephanie's ex-husband meets with Ranger and Tank to discuss a new security system. Rating is for language.


**Just a short one-shot. No smut in this... rating is for language. **

RPOV

Tank and I were in the conference room waiting for our 7pm appointment. Surprisingly Steph's ex husband had contacted Rangeman to provide security for his new office building. 'The Dick', as Stephanie referred to him, had no idea she worked for me or that we had a personal relationship.

"What did Steph say when you told her he wants us to run his security?" Normally I would take care of client meetings on my own but when Tank found out who the client was, he couldn't help but want to know more about the man she was once married to.

Chuckling I responded, "First she wanted to know if she could pop in halfway to join the meeting, when I said no, she asked if she could at least get all the security codes so she could raid his office for a few personal items he still owns of her." I couldn't help the smile when I thought back to Steph begging me to let her toy with her ex. Although I said no, a part of me wanted her to come in, just to see the reaction he would have. According to 'burg' rumor, every time Stephanie and her ex have an encounter SWAT team has to be called.

It also pissed me to off to find out he kept some of her family heirlooms. While I wouldn't break company protocol and let her break into his office, I would be sure to check it out myself and get whatever it was she wanted back.

Tank and I both stood as Bobby led Dickie Orr into the conference room. Shaking hands with the man made my skin crawl. It pissed me off to think she married a scum bag like Dickie just to please her family.

"You must be Ranger"

Nodding I then introduced Tank, "That's correct. This is Tank, my accounts manager."

"So, tell us what kind of security you're interested in." I began; the quicker this meeting was over the quicker I could sneak over to Steph's. We had been regularly seeing each other in the evenings since her and Joe broke up a couple months ago. While I had told her once that my life didn't lend itself to relationships, Stephanie had proved me wrong.

With all the gossip about her and Joe's separation she wanted to keep our new found relationship private. Only the guys at Rangeman knew we were dating, she hadn't even told her best friend Mary Lou for fear of a slip up.

"I was thinking camera's for the entrance, that way we can see who is coming before they get to us. I'd also like better locks on the doors, something more secure, to keep people from snooping around."

"Are you having issues with people breaking into your office now? Or is this just a precaution?"

Dickie snorted, "Both." He scrunched up his face, like he smelt something bad, and continued, "Have either of you ever been married?"

Without blinking we both shook our heads no. Like we would ever tell him the truth anyway. "Well, you should keep it that way."

Tank prodded him, "If you don't mind my asking, what does this have to do with security?" We both knew that Stephanie had broken into Dickies office from time to time, but it would be fun to hear it from his perspective.

"My ex-wife, Stephanie Plum…." He paused, "do you know her? Stupid woman trying to be a damn bounty hunter, keeps blowing up cars and buildings?" My hands instinctively fisted in my lap but my blank face stayed in place as I nodded. "Well, that bitch thinks she can just waltz into my office whenever she wants. Even if I'm not there. I have high end clients and I can't be having her snooping around in their files."

Despite the fact that I saw red when he called her a bitch, I kept my voice calm when I asked, "So you are seeking security to keep your ex-wife out of your office?" When he nodded I continued, "If you don't mind my asking, why would your ex, Stephanie is it?" He nodded, dumb bastard, "Why would she keep breaking into your office?"

He threw his hands up in the air, "God only knows! She says I stole some clock her grandfather gave her before he died. But I have the divorce paperwork that says the clock is mine. That tyrant of a woman burned all my belongings so anything that was left, the courts said were mine." Smiling on the inside I remembered Stephanie telling me and guys about her throwing all his stuff out the window before setting it on fire.

"Why did she do that?" I wanted to hear him say it. It was eating me away inside how he was making her look like a horrible wife when she did everything she did because he was cheating on her.

"Well, again you may not understand since you've never been married, but, I needed to get some action on the side." he didn't even look ashamed, "What did she expect? She wasn't putting out for me, a man has needs, you know. Anyway, the bitch came home early from work one day and found me fucking Joyce Barnhart." He laughed. I think I'm in shock, he's fucking laughing. "You should have seen her face, I swear, there was steam coming out of her ears." Throwing his head back he continued to laugh.

Tank twitched, and if we hadn't been friends since I was kid I wouldn't have known it, but it was the only sign he was about to fly across the table and kill this man. I knew the feeling. If he called her a bitch one more time, the next appointment he'd have would be to the ER. "So she burned your clothes. Okay I think…"

He cut me off, "Let me ask you something," lowering his voice before continuing, "if you were married and your woman didn't like, butt stuff, you'd go looking somewhere else too right?"

Tanks fist clenched and my blank face slipped letting the hatred for this man spill out of my eyes. Reaching into my pocket I sent off a quick text message and then decided to wrap up the meeting. "I don't think we can help you Mr. Orr." Closing his file I stood up and indicated he should leave.

His mouth dropped and I wanted nothing more than to allow my fist to fix it back into place. "Oh please." He said, waving his hand, "Don't tell me I've offended you. Every man likes going in the back door once in awhile. Shit, a woman's job is to please her husband." Ignoring him I walked around the table and opened the door. He stood up but continued to talk, "I would have taken a few blow jobs at least. What woman doesn't like to suck a man's cock? It's a husbands right to get his dick sucked after a long…" Before I knew what I was doing I had him pinned up against the wall, my forearm on his throat.

"I asked you to leave. Your business with us is done." With a final shove into his neck I took a step back making sure to loom over him. Even if he hadn't been talking about Steph it would have pissed me off. But being that he was referring to the woman I loved, hell no.

My arms were crossed over my chest and I couldn't help but think Steph would be proud of my glare when I heard her, "Hey Ranger, I got your text….." she stood in the doorway looking between me and her ex-husband. "What's going on?"

Dickie stiffened and I smiled as I reached out and pulled her in for a bone melting kiss. Mine.

I couldn't help my smirk as I pulled away and focused on Dickie. "Funny thing _Dick_," I spit his name enforcing my hatred for the man. "Stephanie doesn't seem to have an issue with any of that stuff anymore. Seems to me the problem wasn't your wife," raking my eyes down his body and back up I let the disdain for him show clearly on my face, "must have been you. Oh, and we'll be needing that clock back."

His expression darkened and he narrowed his eyes focusing on Steph, "You little bitch you…" before I could move Tank's arm flew out and cracked him across the jaw, knocking him out cold. Steph shrieked, and stared wide eyed at her ex husband's motionless body lying on the floor.

Shrugging Tank said, "Sorry boss, bomber, but that man just doesn't know when to shut the fuck up."

We all laughed and started out the door. I'd have one of the guys drag 'The Dick' to the sidewalk.

"Was he that bad?" Steph asked linking her arm in mine.

"Babe."

She was quiet for a minute before the question I was hoping she wouldn't ask came out "What was all that about me not having an issue with any of that stuff? What was the stuff?"

Pushing her into the elevator I hit the button on my fob to go to 7. Leaning into her I brushed my lips across hers before giving her a wicked grin, "When we get upstairs I'll show you."

_The End_


End file.
